As parents, we would find ourselves repeating to ourselves the words of advise we had previously received:
When dealing with your children and their decisions, ask yourself two questions. 1] Is it life threatening? 2] Is it salvation threatening? If the answer is NO to any of these questions, it is generally best to let it go. Pick your battles wisely and allow your child to learn and grow from their own choices.Often, they were sent to their room to suffer the consequence of a bad choice. A week long grounding was in order! Almost always, time spent alone with their thoughts provided the perfect opportuity to humble themselves, repent for their wrong doing, restitute and apologize, receive forgiveness and be welcomed back into the outskirts of their bedroom to enjoy the blessings of family life. I cannot remember a time when a week long grounding lasted more than a few hours
We would talk to our daughters about many of the BIG (and usually disappointing) decisions that we have made for ourselves or for the family. Canceling trips, postponing purchases, walking out of movies, returning too much change etc. Explaining to them the process (promptings, prayers) by which our decisions were made.
Through this process and by our example, our daughters were blessed with the ability to make decisions with only a moments notice. They have said "no" to peers, have walked away from parties, and even severed friendships. They have continued to make good decisions in every aspect of their lives. College majors have been changed, opportunities to serve have been accepted and most recently, a desire to serve a full time mission has been announced.
Standing back and witnessing our children make their own decisions has been sometimes painful and sorrowful, but mostly joyful and rewarding. And because they have been wise and obedient, it has been a great blessing.
