What Chester ate today...

I got distracted today and did not close the pantry door all the way.
Then, I did not double check it before I left.

For most people, that is no big deal, but in our household…
well, there is Chester!

Our naughty cocker spaniel will be 12 in December.
He has slowed down (in his naughtiness), but he has not stopped.

Today, was proof. He took full advantage of my oversight.
It started with Halloween candy, still in the bucket from the 31st.
Fortunately, it shifted and the black caldron could no longer be seen through his cataracts.
He then moved on to the leftover Orange Rolls, and half a large loaf of Banana Bread.
(He has always had a thing for bread!)
Next stop, cashews. I finished one small baggie and by this time,
I am sure he had his fill.


Knowing his pattern in situations like this, I double checked the rest of the house.
Sure enough, I found his stash hidden behind a pillow in the family room couch…

You can take a Chester Refresher course here… {link}

the perfect tribute

It has been over 9 month’s now since my mother-in-law passed away.
(Where has the time gone!)

There were so many decisions being made on her behalf during that time.
At least one of her three children were at her side the majority of the time she was hospitalized.
She was seldom alone.

The three of them, together, carefully selected the perfect casket and the most beautiful flowers.
Each decision was made with her in mind.
Asking themselves…. what would she like?
Telling themselves… that is perfect for her.

When discussing the head marker…
her youngest son spoke up and suggested the placement of something music related along with the dates.
There was absolute agreement. It was the perfect idea. The perfect tribute.

It took some doing… but finally… nine months later… it happened.

There is no doubt she is singing with the angels!

reminiscing

Not long after we realized that Consuelo was not going to recover from her hip surgery,
we spent a lot of time with her in her hospital room.
Calming her fears of passing on.
Reciting scriptures.
Reminiscing about her dear husband.

Because of the toll the UTI took on her mind, she was not cognitive most of the time.
I took the opportunity to record a few of her better moments… just 5 days before she passed.

Here is the first one

be in the world but not of the world

The Lord wants us to remain true to His standards and not partake of the evils of the world.
At the same time, He expects us to be a good influence on those around us.

There are so many worldly influences around us, making so very difficult to remain strong in our faith.
The Young Women of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, meet often each week.
They learn together, encourage each other, and serve others.
They strive to live the Young Women Values:

Faith • Divine Nature • Individual Worth • Knowledge • Choice and Accountability
Good Works • Integrity • and Virtue

By living these values, they become stronger in their faith in our Savior, Jesus Christ,
they are more aware of who they really are, what they are capable of, and better prepared for living in the world but not of the world.

This video serves as a reminder to all of us, to remain committed to living church standards.

You can learn more HERE.

Worry

Sometimes I find myself worrying about my failures as a wife, mother,
sister, daughter, friend…
Most often, after an episode or two of (normal) dysfunction
or a simple misunderstanding.

I worry about what I do and say
and why I seem to do and say insensitive things
or nothing al all.

I worry about whether or not I raised children that loving and respectful,
especially towards each other.

I worry about not setting the proper example.
I worry myself sick.

Then out of nowhere, I get a random text…
          ”I love you”
and I immediately realize I am doing just fine.

a list

1. walked 3 1/2 miles with the hubby
   (our Friday / Saturday morning tradition)
2. ate Blueberry Pancakes
   (homemade by Evan)
3. spray painted the back lawn
   (outlining the future fire pit that I am dreaming about)
4. stepped in dog poop
   (not a tradition, or a dream)
5. dug a trench for retaining wall
   (back fence line… meant to keep neighbors dogs from lurking under the fence)
6. got bitten by angry ants
   (after destroying their farm while digging a trench)
7. washed hands a million times
   (I don’t mind the dirt, just don’t like dirty hands)
8. took a well deserved shower
   (you’re welcome)
9. received an epiphany in the shower
   (we set the retaining wall blocks upside down)
10. called mom
    (dad answered the phone too)
11. talked to dad on the phone
    (asked a few questions, told him good bye, and listed to him try to hang up the phone)
    #alzheimers
12. forgot to wish mom happy birthday
    (it’s OK. taking her and dad to dinner later)
13. dug through the trash
    (to look for a missing receipt)
14. washed my hands a gain
    (you know why)
15. went to IKEA
    (bought another project to build)
16. went grocery shopping
    (because Saturday is a special day )
17. took mom and dad to dinner
    (Happy Birthday Mom! )
18. went to Wal-Mart with the family
    (movie night prep)
19. flipped a couple of retaining wall blocks
    (against my husband’s wishes. he said wait until Monday, but they are really bugging me!)
20. put the finishing touches on my primary lesson
    (parable of the Sheep & Goats )
21. thanked my Heavenly Father for another productive day
    (prayer)
22. when to bed
    (whew!)

the voice

I saw a post from a family member that expressed sorrow.
Missing a parent who recently passed away.
Missing hearing her voice.
Missing her everyday.

I dug deep into my archives and found a treasure.
This is for those that need to hear the voice of a loved one today…

The Quote {being offended}

I realize that people say things, well, wrong.
Heaven knows I do this ALL the time.
Humans tend to “speak their mind”. It is not easy to remember to “think before you speak”.
I often wish my words had a ten second delay… giving me the opportunity to sensor, revise or delete.
But things are said that cannot be taken back.
Feelings are hurt. People become offended.
I have been the giver and recipient.

The single, most important [and perhaps the most difficult] thing to remember is this…
Offence it taken, not given.

When we believe or  we have been offended, we usually mean we feel insulted, mistreated, snubbed, or disrespected. And certainly clumsy, embarrassing, unprincipled, and mean-spirited things do occur in our interactions with other people that would allow us to take offense. However, it ultimately is impossible for another person to offend you or to offend me. Indeed, believing that another person offended us is fundamentally false. To be offended is a choice we make; it is not a condition inflicted or imposed upon us by someone or something else.

David A. Bednar  … And Nothing Shall Offend Them [October 2006 General Conference]
(You can listen to, or read his talk HERE.)

How easy it is for us to blame others for our feelings.
It’s hard to look inward and take responsibility for how we react to things that are said [or not said].
After all, if we take the responsibly, we have to do the work to “fix” it within ourselves.
But that can be easy too, through the Atonement of our Savior, Jesus Christ.

Psalm 119:165 … Great peace have they which love thy law: and nothing shall offend them.

22

It started with an order from the doctor to stay in bed.
I was to follow up a week later.
I obeyed, knowing that a week in bed would drive me crazy.

Hardly no time at all passed before the doctor called me at home.
He told me that he consulted with a colleague and they both agreed…
We should not wait any longer.
Delivery was scheduled for the next morning.

We had to deliver Taylor one week early to save her life.
I think, however, she just couldn’t wait any longer.
We have felt the power of her unconditional and powerful love for us ever since!

             

Happy Birthday to our sweet Taylor.
You complete our little family!!

I became a mother…

Today is the anniversary of the day I became a mother.
25 years ago today, to be exact.
I remember it as if it were yesterday.
I’m pretty sure it was.

She arrived…wide eyed and curious.
She has always been open and honest.
She is adventurous.
She is head strong but obedient.
She makes me proud.

She is a dancer.
She is a photographer.
She is a blogger.
She is a returned missionary.
She is one of my most precious treasures.
She is my daughter.

Happy Birthday Kylee!

 

coming home

Yesterday, our Sister Missionary came home.
I have been anxious about this moment for weeks!
It was all that I hoped for.
The best part, was being able to hug her!!!

For 18 months, we have emailed weekly.
Skyped 3 1/2 times
(2 Christmases, 1 mothers day, and during a surprise visit from Uncle Eric and family)
Seen photos on Facebook and even in the newspaper.
She was near, visually and vocally,
but she was missed physically.

Last night at the airport, I got a taste of what our Heavenly Father wants most…
for us to return home

While we are here on Earth
we worship Him weekly on the Sabbath.
We communicate with Him daily trough prayer.
He guides us through the Holy Ghost and his living prophets.
He is anxiously awaiting our return. It is all that He hopes for.
I suspect His arms will be open for a hug too!

the plan of happiness

The events that transpired between December 21st and January 10th were difficult.
It was a roller coaster ride of fighting for life and recovery and fighting for peace and reunions.
Consuelo was torn between two worlds.
I truly believe that when she called the names of loved ones
she did not do so out of confusion or delirium.
She was with those people.
They were with her.
Comforting her, as we were.
As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints,
I know that there is life after death.
I know that we lived with God before we were sent here to earth.
I know that he has a plan for all of His children.
I know that our life here on earth, while not always easy, has a purpose.
We gain a mortal body that is tested and tried.
We feel pain and sorrow.
We are tempted and we sin, because we are not perfect.
Because we are not perfect, God sent His only begotten Son.
Through Him, we can become perfect, by repenting, by accepting His atonement.
It is also through His atonement, that we can receive strength as we face our trials.
Pain. Sorrow. Grief.
If we follow Gods plan.
If we keep His commandments and follow the example of His perfect Son,
even, Jesus Christ, we can be happy.
The knowledge that we have of this great plan of happiness
has given us all that we needed during those three weeks.
We knew, that no matter what the end result was,
Consuelo would be with loved ones.
Whether here on earth, or on the other side.

There is life after death.
There is a sealing power that links our family together FOREVER!
And that makes me happy.

{Your can learn more HERE}

the quietus

[part five]

The following morning {Friday} we went back to the hospital to put in place the next course of action.
Consuelo had already expressed her wished to the doctor and he was in the process of preparing for her release when we got there.
All treatments were stopped and the IV was removed.
We were pleased to learn that she could return to Compass… this time, hospice would also be put into place.
She was back there before 2:30 that afternoon. She was peaceful and comfortable. It was good.
We knew she was in good hands, so we returned to her apartment to continue moving her things.
This time, we knew she would not be returning.

Saturday morning was spent clearing out the few things we moved to her new apartments and turning in the keys.
As Evan, Taylor and I were finishing up lunch, something nudged us back to Compass. We needed to go there.
Without hesitation, we did.

As we pulled into the parking lot, Evan received a call from the Hospice care giver.
Consuelo was not well. The nurses at the station confirmed. They also prepared  the tree of us for what we would see and hear.
Calls were made to Neale and Denise.
Neale would come as soon and he could.
Denise was in an airport in Arizona and would stop by after she landed in Salt Lake.
We made our way down to her room.

The death rattle was the most obvious symptom of what was to come.
She was not conscious , but we spoke to her, expressed our love, stroked her head.
She could hear us. She responded with her eyebrows or even a slight turn of the lips.
Evan called Denise again, this time alerting her of the urgency of her visit.
She and Alan were trying to catch an earlier flight.
Evan also called Kylee’s Mission President.
President Cooke would be seeing her later that evening and assured us he would speak to her.

Neale arrived a few hours later.
Then Denise called… they had just landed and were on their way.
Evan and Neale each took a hand. They told her that Denise would be here soon and asked her to hold on a little longer.
Sensing that she would not last, we prayed by her bedside.
Evan offered a beautiful prayer. He released her from this world and invited her to go home and to be reunited with her husband.
She could not hold on. Within minutes, she was gone.

After Denise arrived, we all sat in Consuelo's room for what seemed like hours.
Reminiscing.
Paying tribute her life.
She was an honorable woman.
She left us with dignity and grace.

the decision

[part four]

Phenomena was confirmed. Her body was also septic.
Bed sores were developing.
Antibiotics flowed though her veins.
During one of Neale’s visits, he left her with Dennis’ wedding band.
Neale wore it around his neck.
Connie now wore it on her hand.
If we learned anything, we learned the impact that an infection can have on the mind of the elderly.
Dementia being a very common side effect. Perhaps even a mercy, as she will not remember most of what is happening to her.
The next day, after being admitted into the hospital, she pulled her IV out.
She kept telling us that she is falling… falling out of bed. We tried our best to assure her that she was not.
She told us she was afraid. Of what, we could not determine.
Sunday marked 24 hours of no sleep for Consuelo.
The nurses report that she is in kidney failure.
Confusion was prevalent, with brief moments of lucidity throughout this next week.
Conversations seemed to take place with members of the family that have previously passed on:
Mama, Papa, Lily, Fermina, Sophia.
Reminiscing also took place.
We listened to Consuelo as she spoke of the days when she and Dennis met and started their courtship.
She was troubled with anxiety and had many restless nights.
So much so, that she was moved to a room closer to the nurses… the fishbowl as we called it. No walls. Only windows and a door .
During one of her good moments, She expressed to him, her desire to fight her way back. She needed to get her life in order.
She desired to work on family history and take names to the temple.

Nights continued to be troublesome for her.
There was no significant improvement, so we asked to nurses to administer morphine to help her rest and relax.
Evan would go sit with her until late at night, so that the nurses could get something done.
During those moments when her mind was here, he would continue to have important conversations with her.
Thursday night, she made a significant decision. She was exhausted and she was ready to go home.
She was at peace with her life here. We could see it on her face.

the rehab

[part three]

Visits at the hospital were frequent. Christmas was a little different this year. More time spent at the hospital, less time spent in the chaos that the holiday often brings. Friday finally arrived and Consuelo was transferred to Compass Rehab. Her room was beautiful! Homey. Warm. Inviting. Comfortable. We could not be any happier with this decision. We went back to her apartment to pack a bag with clothes and other personal effects. This would be home for the next several weeks and we wanted her surrounded with familiar things. She was anxious to read a book, so we selected a few from the library in the Center.

We continued to visit several times a day. It was GO time and she had a lot of work to do. Many of our pep talks seemed to be in vain. She was not giving rehab her best effort. She was tired. She slept more than she needed to. We encouraged her every time we saw her. Another week passed and we did not see much progress.

Two days into the New Year, we received an early morning phone call from Compass. There was concern about her behavior. She was slurring her speech and not very responsive. The biggest worry was a stroke. It was agreed that she needed to return to the hospital. We found ourselves, once again, in a familiar room in the ER. Several tests later, it was determined that the Urinary Track Infection she developed earlier had progressed. The worse news... Pneumonia was developing. She was admitted back into the hospital for treatment.

the recovery

[part two]

As expected, the surgery lasted an hour. We received the news at 1:15 AM that it was a success. A rod and two pins were holding her delicate hip in place. I went home to catch a couple of hours of sleep before heading into work. Evan stayed by his mothers side. He wanted to be there when she came out of the anesthesia. He paced a lot. He worried constantly. He napped as mush as he could. When she awakened, he was relieved... she was a survivor. She was taken to her temporary home, Room 408. Her pain level was relatively low, she was groggy but aware. Evan was able to break away long enough to go home, shower and pack his briefcase so he could work from the hospital.

I went straight to the hospital after work. Recovery was going along as best as we could hope for. A physical therapist was already working with her, helping her sit up and even stand. We were asked to select a rehabilitation center as they anticipated transitioning her there on Christmas eve. We chose one close to home for the sake of convenience. They had a bed and reserved it for her. Denise and Alan came down from Wyoming  and he daughter spent the second night at her side.  Connie was still in a fog and tired very easily. She slept a lot and ate very little.  There were concerns about her progress with the physical therapist. It was decided to keep her in the hospital through Christmas in hopes that she would become more alert and gain more strength.

Something kept gnawing at me about our rehab center choice, so I did some research online. I was prompted for a reason. Our first choice did not have very desirable reviews and very low health grades. I did some more research and found two other centers nearby that met our high criteria. I called Evan and shared with him my concerns and had him check for rooms at the other centers. Our first choice had a room and would be ready for her on Friday.

the call

[part one]

December 21, 2014 was like any other Sunday. We attended church, ate dinner as a family, and spent the evening relaxing. We were winding down for the night when the phone rang. The caller ID indicated that it was the Sister Missionaries. Evan answered the phone, not realizing that this phone call would change our lives.

The Sister on the phone confirmed that it was Evan, the son of Consuelo Rowley. She then informed him that his mother had taken a fall and that the EMT's were on their way. We quickly changed back into clothes and went over to her apartment. She was still on the ground in the lobby when we arrived. Several strong arms easily lifted her into a chair, where questions were asked and answered. It was estimated that she laid there for 15-20 minutes, calling for help, before she was found. She was alert and not in pain. Her vitals were good. The EMT's asked her if she could stand and she tried, with their assistance. Then, there was pain. They quickly sat her down and asked if she would like to go to the hospital. With our encouragement, she agreed it was best. She was skillfully placed on a gurney and Evan and I ran to her apartment to grab her wallet and lock the door.

We arrived at the hospital just as she was being wheeled in, so we followed her in. Room 8. The same room she was taken to when she broke her shoulder. Evan called our friend, Doug Martin, who rushed over to assist in giving her a blessing. Calls to Denise and Neale were held off briefly while we gathered information from the doctor. He wanted to X-ray her hip so we made those calls while she was in radiology. The results were not good. She fractured her hip. Immediate surgery was required. Because of her age, failure to do so would lead to phenomena and most likely, death. An Orthopedic Surgeon was called in. Neale arrived just in time to see her before she went to the operating room. He left shortly after and Evan and I escorted her to pre-op where we spoke with the anesthesiologist. It would be an easy, routine surgery, requiring only an hour if all went well. Shortly after midnight we found ourselves in the waiting room.