becoming the best

It has been said by most that their mom is the best ever.
Those words are no exception to my daughters.
I accept their statements in great humility
not because I am the best, but because I have been influenced by the best.

My mother is the first influence I ever had.
She is the most selfless woman I know.
Always looking outward.

My two daughters… so very different from each other
but equally as important to me.
They have taught me more than I ever would have learned on my own.

Denise became my fist sister when I married her brother.
She was the first Aunt to my daughters
and is full of energy and love.

Tamra, married my brother
and was the first to make me an Aunt.
She has a passion for learning and is one of the smartest people I know.

Emily, my third sister by marriage.
She has taken on the role of motherhood and has not looked back.
She is courageous and nurturing.

Many friends and neighbors… the mothers and the childless.
All of them honoring womanhood with their actions,
caring for their families and for each other.

I have no doubt that all of these women will also claim
that their greatness comes from influences as well.
But, isn’t that something we as women do so very well…
helping others become their best.

I’ve been over here

I have spent my extra time blogging over here.
It’s much more exciting anyway!
(just updated today!)

she sounds great

We got the phone call this morning.
Sister Rowley called me and we conferenced in dad.
The three of us spoke for 25 minutes.

It was great to HEAR her voice.
To LISTEN to her joys and frustrations.
To reassure her.
To TELL her we love her and that we are so very proud of her!

Updates

It’s has not even been TWO weeks
and we have received TWO wonderful emails from our missionary.

The second one came in today. I was awake when it was sent
and my phone promptly alerted me.
I quickly read it and responded with a quick question…
”Did you get the package?”

That question resulted in several back-and-forth emails.
Faux texting with my missionary was wonderful.
I have been missing those types of interactions that took place everyday.
It was a tender mercy, being able to “chat” with her.

By the way, her letters are posted on her mission blog here…

Email #1

Email #2

Already, so much growth has taken place.

2’s and 3’s

Three times in two weeks =  the number of times I have listened to my missionary speak in church.
Two of those three times was just this morning.
My two daughters have been home together this weekend as we
prepare to take Kylee to the MTC in three days.
In just two days, she will be set apart as a missionary through Priesthood Authority.
Soon, it will be just the two of us…Evan and I.
Well, three, if you count the dog!
My heart is full of gratitude for my two daughters.
Together, with my loving husband, I have the three best friends I will ever need.
Before we know it, the four of us will be in three different states
but in less than two years we will all be reunited.
I think the two of us can handle that!
Well, three, if you count the dog!

Emptying the nest

First, Taylor leaves for another semester at BYU-Idaho.
Then Kylee leaves for the MTC.
By the end of the month, Evan and I will be (temporarily) empty nesters.

I am not sure what that means for us.
I do know that it is bitter sweet.

I knew I loved Evan before we were married.
I loved him even more on our wedding day.
Each day after, even more.
We loved our time together, and we spent it well.

Then children came.
I loved him even more.

We raised our daughters together.
We were lucky with them.
They never gave us much trouble.
They were as patient with us as we were with them.

All four of us, built our strong family together.
We love spending time with each other.
We love being at home together.
We love laughing and playing together.

Now, one by one, our daughters are leaving us.
Evan and I get to practice being just the two of us again.
That is, until they come home.
And, we will always welcome that!

What my ears heard, opened my eyes

Even though I am the mother of adult daughters,
and they don’t “need” me as much as they used to,
they are still a very important part of my life.
In fact, they are two of my best friends.

I never want to loose that.

Yesterday,
as I was sitting on the couch,
winding down for the day
finishing up some work I brought home from the office,
Taylor said: “mom, you are always working.”
She continued: ”working your job, working to take care of us”

She was merely being observant.
I was immediately full of gratitude.

First and foremost, because I get to take care of my family.
I love being around them
I love spending time with them.
I love being at home, with them.
I love taking care of them.
It is my favorite job.

Second, I am blessed to work for individuals
who support “family”
They are a close family, and in a sense,
they are a part of my family.
They enable me to encourage others at work to
place their family over their job.
I get tell the employees “yes, it is OK”
to come in late for work to support their children and grandchildren
at school and other events.

Today,
I left the office, empty handed.
I am not going to work this weekend,
unless it is for my family!

Arrival

Kylee has sent me another brief email, with a promise of more details to follow.
I don’t want to share too much, as she will be certain to blog once she returns!

I do, however, feel that I need to share a little…
She has arrived to her final destination: Chamba.

Her duffle bag, and the bag belonging to one other girl, were the ONLY two bags
to get DRENCHED during their adventurous travels.
Her entire wardrobe is hanging out to dry…I hope the humidity does not impede the progress.

Finally… A photo of the orphanage.

Chamba, India is where she will be spending her days for the next week. Teaching and loving 20+ girls.

I-witness

There is nothing more tender or wonderful as witnessing a distraught child snuggling with their pet for comfort.

Annually

It is not quite a tradition, YET.

For the 2nd year in a row, we have picked out pumpkins and carved them together as a family.
This year, however, we had a guest carver.
Kylee’s friend Luke joined us in the apples with dip, chili with cheese and humans with knives event.
Evan opted out of the carving…BYU was playing and he was stair climbing between parties.

To cap off the evening, Luke shared some mission pictures.
It was inspiring to see such an amazing response to the Gospel in Kenya.

Also a tradition… lighting up the pumpkins for photos.

As an interesting side note to the evening….
My daughter brought home a boy that I felt it was important for me to impress.
I found myself reverting back to my awkward adolescence.

I am sure I said stupid things. I know I said things that I shouldn’t have.
I think I should have done something different with my hair. (Yeah, right!)
There were times when I should have said something, but didn’t.
The house could have been cleaner.

I guess, we can always find something to be insecure about.
My hope is, that everyone else’s insecurities makes them blind to most of mine…
I usually don’t see theirs!

When I can’t be there…

I am so grateful that my daughters trust in the power of prayer.
More so now, then ever before.

This is a time in their lives that require them to make decisions I cannot help them make.
This is a time in their lives when I am not always physically there for them.

I can encourage them, but I cannot guide them.
This is why prayer is so important.

“It is through earnest and heartfelt prayer that we can receive the needed blessings and the support required to make our way in this sometimes difficult and challenging journey we call mortality.” ~Thomas S. Monson

There is ONE person they can turn to.
Someone that knows them even better than I do.
Someone that knows what path they should take, in order to get where they need to go.
Someone who is ALWAYS with them. Even when I am not.
Someone who will listen to ANYTHING they have to say.

"Prayer becomes more meaningful as we counsel with the Lord in all our doings . . . We are promised that if we pray sincerely for that which is right and good and in accordance with God's will, we can be blessed, protected, and directed." ~ David A. Bednar

I will repeat again, some of the greatest advice I have given them.
Say a prayer.
Ask your Heavenly Father for help.
Ask Him to help you understand what it is you need to learn from your challenge.
Listen to His answer,
and do your part!

What I love...

I love... that my daughters still use me as their wake-up call.
I love... that I get a phone call when things (good or bad) happen in their lives.
I love... that those phone calls occur daily!
I love... that they still consider me a worthy companion for concerts, shopping and other activities.
I love... my daughters, and the man that made it all possible.

Emotions

It has been an exhausting week, emotionally speaking.

• BYU suffered a painful loss in football to the University of Utah. Sorrow (for Evan).
• My lesson in church received many compliments. Surprise.
• I have 4 more weeks until my next lesson. Relief.
• I ONLY have 4 weeks until my next lesson. Panic.
• Kylee received kudos from one of her teachers. Pride.
• Taylor started to experience uncomfortable, nearly unbearable, back pain. Worry.
• A call to her doctor produced a prescription for Physical Therapy. Hope.
• Mass mailing for the bridal shower that Kylee is giving for her best friend. Anticipation.
• Circumstances at work that created more (and seemingly unnecessary) projects. Stress.
• Taylor announced that she and her roommates will be in town for Conference. Excitement.
• Overheard Kylee turn down fun for homework. Impressed.
• 3 times this week: up at 4:45 am , to the gym by 5 am. Fatigued.

the 40 something college student

First it was Kylee and her photography class at the U.
I loved it.
Learned a little.
Hung out with Ky a lot!

Flash forward to Monday… BYU-Idaho stated it’s Fall 2011.

Twice, already, I have been called to assist in some math homework.
I love it.
Remembering more than I expected.
Warned Taylor that it won’t take long to reach my limit.

I guess that means, I have been officially enrolled in Fundamental Math 108.

I’ll take it!! Any excuse to chat with my Tay.

Overwhelming.

I walked into church alone today.

Evan was busy with a Ward Conference.
Kylee is a member of a singles ward.
Taylor, has been gone (for three days now).

Our dear friend Gale F. spoke today.
As a result, his wife Joan, was in the congregation.
They are the parents of McKay and Drew…
the two men that are looking after Taylor while she is in Idaho.

I was overcome.

An overwhelming sense of gratitude fell upon me.
Gratitude for great friends, who are great parents.
Gratitude for their sons, who treat my daughters as sisters.

An overwhelming sense of peacefulness was with me.
Peaceful with the spiritual progress both of my daughters are making.
Peaceful with their decisions and where life is taking them.

On overwhelming sense of love overtook me.
Love for my eternal companion, and the new opportunities this stage of life brings us.
Love for the Gospel of Jesus Christ, and the opportunities for growth it brings me.

I just took my daughter over state lines and left her there.

I went to work early and was home by 10AM.
Taylor was a bundle of nerves and anxious to get going.

We packed the car full of boxes and started our journey northward.

First stop… my grandparents gravesite.
The grave marker for Uncle Richard was in place, it was not here the last time I was.

Next stop was the home of our hosts for the night.
When McKay & Carlee invited us to stay with them, we quickly accepted and canceled our hotel.
Taylor’s reaction was priceless!! She could not wait to go play with their sweet daughter.
I loved watching McKay and Carlee interact with their child. They are great parents! No doubt about it.
I also loved receiving the reassurance that Taylor has them nearby and that she will be loved and welcome in their home if she needs some TLC.

The next morning we were on the road again, heading to our final destination.
A quick line for keys, and then it was moving time.
A new list of “things we need” was created as we unpacked and organized.

Evan had a business lunch with a client and a colleague,
so Taylor and I teamed up with her roomie Kiri and her mom for our errands.
First stop – campus for ID cards and books.
Next was Walmart for some necessary shopping.
More unpacking and organizing followed.
Lunch and grocery shopping, then meeting Evan back at the apartment.

More roommates were arriving and it was nice to meet them and some of their parents.
I was busy trying to resolve issues at work and was not very gracious. (A regret.)
These parents, however, were reassured by Evan that Thanksgiving at our home
is an open invitation to their daughters.
This is a family tradition I am excited to carry on.

With all of the hustle and bustle of moving, and the many campus activities available for the students,
Evan and I decided it was time to leave our little girl behind.
Hugs, kisses and love you’s. All tearless. We were all brave and strong.
It was easier than I anticipated and I am so excited for her and this new adventure!

See you in 76 days. (Skype me!!)

The first last.

Today was all about Taylor.

Her last Sunday dinner before leaving for school later this week.

Her dinner of choice,
Spaghetti.

Surrounded by our usual Sunday crew,
she was loaded up with advise and well wishes.

Dinner was topped off with cake
and a very special message…

Inevitable departure

We are down to days… 12 to be exact.

Each day, there is a gentle reminder that Taylor will be leaving soon.
Today was a not-so-gentle kind of day… she received her roommate list.

So far, this has been the biggest bite of reality we have had to swallow.

This, combined with Kylee’s yearnings to move out,
just might make us empty nesters FAR TOO SOON!!
I am not ready to swallow that.

Listening & Seeing

As a mother, I want nothing more than good health and happiness for my daughters.
Over the years, we have been very blessed.
Our needs have been met, we have been able to pay our debts.
We have been able to satisfy many of our wants.

My children have not asked for much.
Another great blessing.

This year has been a little different.
We are still blessed with the ability to meet our needs and obligations,
but certain “want’s” have had to be set aside.

Not because we HAD to, but  because we have turned to our senses.
We been more diligent in LISTENING and SEEING.
Listening to our living prophets as they strongly encourage us
to get out of debt, build up our food storage, and return to “the basics” of the gospel.
Seeing that we have additional expenses on the horizon:
current tuition, future weddings, potential missions.

It has been difficult to disappoint my children.
I have been disappointed too!
But I do know this…

As we keep our ears and eyes open,
pay attention to counsel & promptings,
and faithfully comply & obey,
our blessings will be multiplied
tenfold!

Loosing something you love…

Last night, my daughter suffered a great loss.
Greater than the loss of a camera or an IPod.
Almost as great as the loss of a loved one.

She received notification that her beloved sorority,
along with the brother fraternity,
is being dissolved.

It has been a very emotional 24 hours for both of us.
At times, I found that the only thing I could do is hug her and cry with her.
Other times, I mustered up what little encouragement I could.
Best of all, I reminded her to pray…

Pray for the ability to understand the why.
Pray for the courage to immerse herself in her Singles Ward.
Pray in gratitude for the few years that she had in Gamma. 
Pray for the opportunity to take what she received in Gamma
and use it to create something better in what lies ahead.

I pray that she will have the strength to get through this
and become a better person because of it.
I pray that she will understand that the reason is clear
to her Heavenly Father, there is a purpose for the change,
and she needs to have faith that it is for the best.

In the mean time, I have lots of hugs for her
as she continues to mourn her loss…