Being Ernest

A series of events over the past few months have been very difficult for me.
Details are not important, but suffice it to say… I have been discouraged and devastated.
My feelings of despair were lifted today as I paid a visit to my dad.
The first thing I saw when I arrived was dad, sitting in a recliner, with the dog I got him for his birthday…
that alone, melted the ache in my heart and put a little smith on my face!



After a while, I had the pleasure of feeding my dad. His plate was full of hamburger, potatoes and beets.
I felt a little guilty feeding him the beets, knowing full well that if he has his wits about him,
they never would have touched his plate. But there he was, sitting there with his mouth open,
gladly accepting everything on the fork and being happy and grateful for it.

Before I knew it, my troubles were fading.

It amazes me how my dad still teaches me. He is wise – in spite of his current condition.

This moment reminded me of another tender moment when my youngest daughter fed peaches to her dying grandfather.
This is one of her strongest memories and nearly 20 years later, evokes great emotion for her.
He was another great man full of wisdom and knowledge. A man, that I knew long enough to love dearly and to miss deeply.

My husband and I often talk with each other, wondering what words of advise he would give us when one of us is
conflicted, confused or discouraged. I wonder too, what my own father would tell me today if he could speak.
It is pretty easy to guess what they would tell me about my current situations.
I am certain that it is very similar to what my husband has already told me.
I believe that it would be something like this:

Brothers and sisters, there is enough heartache and sorrow in this life without our adding to it through our own stubbornness, bitterness, and resentment.
We are not perfect.
The people around us are not perfect. People do things that annoy, disappoint, and anger. In this mortal life it will always be that way.
Nevertheless, we must let go of our grievances. Part of the purpose of mortality is to learn how to let go of such things. That is the Lord’s way.
~President Dieter F. Uchtdorf    {read/hear his full talk HERE}

Being Ernest

Dad was in a good mood today.
He would hold eye contact for a moment.
He would randomly chuckle at nothing.
My visit with him was just what I needed.

I had a very difficult week.
The love and support of my husband and daughters
gave me everything I needed to start getting through it.
My mom encouraged me and loved me the way only a mom can.
I sat with my dad today, needing him too.

I was overwhelmed with the notion to talk to him,
to tell him what has happened, knowing it wouldn’t matter.
I teared up a bit and dismissed the thought.
But, it came back.
I looked at my dad and told him that I had a bad week.
He looked away at something that wasn’t there.
I told him that if he looked at me, I would tell him what happened.
In almost an instant, he looked my way.
I proceeded to tell him about my week.
When I was done, he chuckled.
I needed that too.
It was as if he was telling me that everything will be OK.
and I believe it will.

Thanks for being there for me, dad.