Unnecessary family loss…

It has been a great week.

Yesterday…  I hosted a brunch for the young women in the Ward
that are graduating from High School.
We ate well, and learned some things about each other.
We also learned how much we have in common.

Thursday… pork tacos for 30.
I lugged a pig over to the choir room at JHS for the end of year party for the Madrigals. 
It was a bitter-sweet ending to our last year of public school
as we thanked her Choir teacher for his influence in the life of our youngest daughter.

Monday… Memorial Day
A house full of family and friends.
Two ingredients for a perfect party… TONS of food, LOTS of noise.

Each of these events required much preparation, and even more cleaning up.
During of which, time was spent reflecting and thinking.

My thoughts were focused mostly on family relationship’s
and all of the growing experiences being a part of a family provides.
It must have been my trip to the SLC Cemetery to visit the gravesites of family members,
combined with the gathering of family over the holiday, that started this thought process.

What weighted most heavily, was the thoughts of lost relationships.
Not the relationships that were lost with the passing of a loved one,
but the relationships that were lost because of misunderstandings, stubbornness
and unwillingness to apologize or forgive.

A mother and a son, both went to their graves, after having not spoken to each other for years.
Neither was willing to go to the other and make things “right”. They both cleaved unto their pride.

The mother was the first to pass away. I don’t ever recall if the son was at the funeral.
What I do remember, however, was this pride and anger towards his mother
was deflected now, towards his uncle… the man who attempted for years, to reunite the two.
What a tragedy it was, when this man died 11 years later. Prematurely, and alone.

I know this is why, whenever there seems to be contention among family members,
I grow an enormous pit in my stomach. I worry that this family history will repeat itself.

One of my greatest desires is a close and happy family. It is not easy, but it is possible… with effort.
I encourage each member to heed to these words from Jeffrey R. Holland:

Is there someone in your life who perhaps needs forgiveness? Is there someone in your home, someone in your family, someone in your neighborhood who has done an unjust or an unkind or an unchristian thing? All of us are guilty of such transgressions, so there surely must be someone who yet needs your forgiveness.

And please don’t ask if it is fair that the injured should have to bear the burden of forgiveness for the offender. Don’t ask if “justice” doesn’t demand that it be the other way around. When it comes to our own sins, we don’t ask for justice. What we plead for is mercy—and that is what we must be willing to give.

Such perfect words, not only to apply in family relationships, but in ANY relationship!